I can't not share this. It is too amazing.

I guess you know where your cat will be in September, as well. Hangin' with Agnes Thomas, communicating telepathically and what not. 

Columbus is home to my favorite person in the world. Jeni. You haven’t heard of her before because I’ve just been introduced, but she instantly won my heart. She makes THE MOST DELICIOUS ICE CREAM EVER. Ben & Jerry’s ain’t bad, but to be honest, they’re a little out-of-date. Who eat Rocky Road any more? Jeni’s Ice Cream, a Columbus treat, has the most delectable flavors, all made with love. Take a moment to peruse the flavor list and dare to prove me wrong.

My observations for the week are as follows:

5. American Girls need to work on their sporting event viewing etiquette. It is ok to not be interested in the game. It is not ok to talk loudly about which blond, vapid quasi-celebrity is better when you are sitting right in front of the television. It is not ok to yell like a trucker over a game you clearly don’t understand. It makes you look both rude and stupid. If you can’t look polite and smart, you should at least strive for one, in my opinion.

4. American Squirrels have no fear. I am taking them all to Canada for wilderness training. Those that survive will thank me. I suspect the owls/coyotes of Canada will thank me as well.

3. It only rains angry in Columbus. There are no gentle showers, no sweet summer mists, just sudden, sharp downpours unleashed without notice. I regret leaving windows open and hopefully have learned from this mistake.

2. I have several unwavering loves. These include, but are not limited to: sparkles, unicorns, Kylie, fluorescent, impractical shoes and bad action movies. When meeting new people, it is best to keep all – or at least some – of these loves under wraps. I prefer thinking of this not as lying, but more leaving something for them to discover at a future date. Much like unpeeling the layers of an onion, which is a phrase I’ve never understood because why on earth would you ever want to unpeel an onion?

1. Ohio has an interesting relationship with booze. You can buy beer and wine anywhere. You can only buy hard alcohol from state-run liquor stores. These aren’t open on Sunday. However, you CAN buy weird, bootleg alcohol at the grocery store. Apparently it is 40-proof instead of 80-proof. In theory, this seems good to me. On a hot, summer’s day you could consume twice as many gin & tonics (air conditioning in a glass, you know) without getting shmammered. In practice, weird, bootleg alcohol tastes bad.

This week also included my first weekday lunch date. I am making friends. No big deal. 

I have a new fear. Cicadas. I have an old fear about waking up next to Jon Secada, but that's a different story. This new fear is that I will  wake up to a cicada buzzing in my ear and then something similar to Commander Chekov's fate in Wrath of Khan happens. Gross! Anyway, this all could have been avoided had I not asked what the weird loud buzzing noise outside our apartment was. I've noted this for next time.

I realize that I left Calgary more than a week ago, but a post about the drive down here would have been short. Corn fields, oil derricks, corn fields, fancy windmill farms, corn fields, highlight: possibly a real transformer, corn fields.

We spent a few days with DC's parents, starting with a sky diving adventure. When I say sky diving adventure, I mean everyone else watched DC's mom jump out of a plane. This is the day I first heard the term airgasm. I'm fairly confident it will be the only time I hear the term airgasm.

I totally geeked out at the thought of going to Taliesin, which ended up being way more interesting than I'd hoped, but for different reasons than I expected. Aside from the being-a-complete-dick part, I now completely relate to FLLW. The dude was a visionary, but lacked some serious attention-to-details skills. He also seemed to love the outdoors, nature and how beautiful everything nature has to offer is, but was really into getting paid. I dig that, too.

Arriving in Columbus, I realize there are a lot of similarities to Calgary. I was trading in one medium-sized city for another with more heat. One can't complain. Here's my Top 5 list on what Columbus has given me in the first week of being a resident:

5. The girls of Columbus love the maxi-dress. I mean, I know it's a thing right now, but I doubt many girls own anything other than the maxi dress. I do not own a maxi-dress. Mostly because it reminds me of the word maxi-pad and I don't want any part of a wardrobe choice that correlates the two. No ma'am.

4. Canada must hate Mexico. This is the only explanation I have for there being a complete absence of burritos in my hometown. They are so delicious, why do Calgarians go without? Racism. That's why. Well let it be known that I would like to change that and as long as my Mexican friends are extending their arms full of burritos, I welcome them.

3. No man should go without an air conditioner. 

2. Drive-thru beer stores are brilliant. I don't know who thought of this, since you aren't supposed to consume beer while driving, but when you are late for your friend's weekend bbq and forgot you still need to pick up a quick six, America has a solution! Just drive up, order what you want and they will even ask if you want it up front with you. MAGIC!

1. In Canada, we celebrate Canada day with bbq, fireworks and Blue Rodeo. In America, they celebrate Independence day with bbq, fireworks and men crushing beers on the sidewalk in star-spangled sleeveless polo shirts. 

I am excited to announce that this Saturday, I'll be packing
up the car and heading to Ohio, where I will be for all of July.

However, I am sad to announce my departure from Chaordix/Cambrian House. Given
my plans of embarking on the slowest road trip around America over the
next few months, it was time to move on.

"I fear that most contemporary people are answering questions not because they're flattered by the attention; they're answering questions because they feel as though they deserve to be asked. About everything. Their opinions are special, so they are entitled to a public forum. Their voice is supposed to be heard, lest their life become empty. "

-Chuck Klosterman, Eating the Dinosaur

Yeah I know it's stupid, I just gotta see it for myself.

Man, I would have asked for a different still for this video. Aside from that, Robyn keeps getting better...and she's always got cool hair. 

I'm really proud of my friend Danielle (aka @fiercekitty) and her new project, Sex with Tech.

The Sex of Tech

Our personal relationships with technology have begun to mimic our intimate relationships with each other. We live in a world where we are more intimate with our mobile phones than with other humans. That intimacy has begun to stretch to new frontiers across the digital landscape. A collection of 25 short stories, The Sex of Tech looks to explore that by relishing in releasing the sexual side of technology.

This is a call for submissions – send us your best, hottest short story (no more than 5000 words) along with a three line bio, details below.

Submission Guidelines

- submissions must be between tech and human
- submissions can be from tech to human OR from human to tech
- submissions can involve more than one human but must always involve at least one piece of tech
- it would have to be a hot as hell story and a far far far stretch for me to insanely justify a vibrator as a piece of technology (the type i speak of) but i would do it
- the technology DOES NOT have to be invented yet
- present to future ONLY, the world does not have to real but the time setting must go forward not backwards

I always, always, always forget to take photos, but I'm trying to remember. I would really like to become a better photographer, which is pretty hard to do if you never pull out your camera. I thought of 5 things I'd like to try to encourage myself to take more photos. I don't know if any will help my skillz, but I'm all about trying.

5. Walk and shoot. Walk an entire block and practice shooting the whole time. I'd like to see if I can improve the number of photos that actually turn out as I go.

4. Self-portraits? Not entirely sold on this. A lot of people do it, but it seems like too many photos of...me? Too bad I don't have a puppy.

3. Every time I think "that's pretty" take out the camera and take a photo of it. unCommon sense really. 

2. Schedule some snapping time. Each week, set aside time to dedicate to snapping photos. Outside, inside, morning, night. I'm planning on mixing it up.

1. Have a color of the week set. Every week, pick a color. Every time I see that color, take a photo. Take as many as possible for the entire week. 

If you have any other suggestions, please share!

Every one thinks she's a bit of alright

but I think that she's not so nice

I'm really looking forward to hearing all of Kate Nash's new album next week. I'm "on board" with this adorable video too (see what I did there? They're flight attendants...on board...yeah, that's right).

I am willing to suspend almost everything I believe in to be entertained by a good spy movie. However, there are a couple of things I refuse to get behind. 

5. Parking tickets. I can't even look at a parking spot without getting a ticket. I don't believe that spies A) never have to grab a ticket off their windshield before chasing after someone and B) never have their car towed. Do you know how fast a tow truck can be when you've parked illegally?

4. No matter how fast the mode of transportation, the good guy always catches up on foot. Whether it is a car starting, a boat setting sail or an airplane taking off, if it is full of bad guys, spies can outrun it, guaranteed.

3. Which brings me to the next point, every spy movie has a false sense of urgency. Why *do* you need to hide in the wheels of a plane? Can't you just grab another plane and catch them when they land?

2. Wardrobe. Always appropriately attired without taking so much as a duffel bag with you? Highly improbable. 

1. James Bond clearly does not practice safe sex. I understand he puts his life on the line pretty much every day. This is no excuse for getting/giving VD. Seriously. 

note: I carry my James Bond secret agent card with me everywhere I go