Well, this wraps up my tour de Phoenix (that's French for tour of Phoenix). I'm off bright and early tomorrow to go to my cousins wedding! I'm the co-emcee with my brother. I hope there's plenty of opportunity for stories, because I've been banking adorable stories on her for years. Anyway, this week

5. I really looking forward to cooking at home again. Living in a tiny hotel room for a month wasn’t bad, but limiting as far as cooking food is concerned. Million dollar idea: A restaurant that works more like my mom’s kitchen. So you could go in and just be like, “Hey, I really just feel like a bowl of cereal for dinner tonight.” Do these exist? I’d be all over that.

4. Not understanding Fahrenheit means not really knowing what the weather is outside. Really, I have no idea. My new version of knowing the weather is “it’s hot” “it’s really hot” and “it’s hot but a little windy, so not bad” Temperatures are so last year.

3. Every once and a while, we all need to be a little sappy. For me, that’s right now. Ingredients for a perfect day: sleep in, phenomenal espresso, a drive through the beautiful red rocks of Sedona, a splash down some natural (for real!) waterslides at Slide Rock National Park, some shopping in Flagstaff, fish tacos, earl grey truffles and a black jelly bean for dinner. Yep, I’ll remember that one for a while.

2. It is amazing how quickly you can get drunk if you haven’t really been drinking for a while.

1. Phoenix is apparently a test market for the Trenta. That’s 30 ounces of some type of coffee from Starbucks. I’m guessing it needs to be about 8 shots of espresso in one drink. I have one question for Starbucks: Why?

I'm in Toronto on Monday and was hoping to meet up with some great Toronto people for lunch!

If you're around, I've made a reservation at Milagro on Mercer for noon, please email me at sarahblueis at gmail (or comment below) to let me know if you can make it. This will avoid one of those embarrassing situations like me reserving a huge table and sitting there all by myself (hello, 19th birthday all over again). 

Here's directions to the place on Yelp. The reviews are kind of meh, but who can eff up a burrito? Seriously. 

While @louderthan10 seems to disagree with my feelings of Phoenix-is-so-rad, I continue to find this place…rad. I’ve been here before and felt the same way he did. Last time, I spent a considerable amount of time in Scottsdale, this time? I haven’t even been close. I now fully equate Scottsdale with plastic – people, money, lawns…someone let me know if I’m wrong. Anyway, here’s what’s up this week:

5. There are almost no surprises with the weather here in Phoenix. I’ve almost accepted that I don’t need to tote a cardy around with me all the time. I say almost because I still carry a cardy as the grocery stores here are so over-air conditioned, you basically need a parka if you are inside for more than two minutes. Also, I experienced my first dust storm! It was mostly underwhelming, but the change in pressure was so drastic that I was sitting inside and the bottle of water I had on the counter collapsed. Crazy!

4. When the sun goes down, the crickets come out. They are everywhere! I’m confused how people go about their evenings so casually with all of the crickets around (I sit there with my legs sticking straight out so my feet don’t touch the ground). I don’t really know if they are even crickets, I’m not sure what else they could be. The first evening out here, I worried we’d encountered the first sign of the apocalypse. Apparently, I have the bug tolerance of a seven-year-old girl.

3. Americans love cheap food. Seriously, if you tell someone you are new in town, they will tell you all about where you can get incredibly underpriced food every night of the week. If you are a restaurant and aren’t serving up some type of $1 meal one evening a week, you are missing out one heck of a huge word-of-mouth opportunity.

2. Going up Camelback mountain, mid-August, midday is not a good idea for Canadians. I completely underestimated Camelback and took being-a-big-baby to an epic level. Dr Cuddles decided to do pushups every time I stopped to either have a mild freak out about the height (things look easy to fall off of when there’s no trees anywhere) or to complain about the heat. Two lessons learned: If I ever get lost in the desert, I will be vulture-dinner.  When you go up a mountain in the desert, there is no mountain lake to jump in at the top. (1. Dr Cuddles made me crop his nipple out of the photo, which I think is kind of a bummer. 2. This is the only photo where you can't see the fear written all over my face.)

1. If you are homeless in Phoenix and get too hot, consider riding the Metro Light Rail system all day. Everyone else is doing it, usually while drunk. I suppose it is a sad commentary on our times, but I can’t help but laugh at how entertaining the drunk crazies on the train are. They say some pretty awesome stuff.

If you're anything like me, when you think of Phoenix, you think of old people. Fair enough, my parents like visiting here as well. However, I'm here to dispel that myth and tell you that from what I can tell, Phoenix is pretty gosh darn lovely. Full stop. 

5. Phoenix is a hot minx in cougar's clothing. I think the people that live here want everyone else to think it's only old people and plastic blonds to discourage everyone else from also living here (scary Arizona immigration laws aside). Truth is, I haven't seen much of either. Maybe it's the area we are staying, but most people here seem to be well adjusted, young business professionals. 

4. There are so many great little restaurants, coffee shops and lounges here. The supply of coffee shop offices is seemingly endless and all of them come with a unique flavour. Most of these places have outdoor patios, which is great because while Phoenix is hot, IT'S A DRY HEAT so it's totally bearable. If you are used to the frigid temperatures of Canada, most patios here have misters. Great for cooling off, bad for curly hair. It's basically one giant frizz-o-fyer. I recommend a good anti-humectant. 

3. I may need to start dressing like a grown up. 

2. Everyone here is happy. For real. People say hello to each other and generally walk around with smiles on their faces. In discussing this at lunch, Brandon Franklin* said that it's hard to be glum when the sun is shining. I believe it. If you want moody angst, go somewhere it rains all the time. This place is not for you.  Speaking of sun, it's practically impossible to not be athletic here. How can you not want to get out and do stuff when the sky is so blue? it's pretty inspiring. If I start walking around spouting hippy-I-love-the-planet bull, someone slap me. 

1. I am a master of public transportation. Ok, this is a slight exaggeration. Google Latitude is a master of public transportation and I am a master of Google Latitude. However, I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to get all over without too much trouble. Of course, when you don't need to be anywhere at a scheduled time, public transportation is a lot less annoying. Whatever. I'm doing it. I'm getting from one place to another. Very economically. Probably pretty environmentally friendly too. Mother Nature, you're welcome. 

*note: I met Sean Tierney and Brandon Franklin, two old school Cambrian House community members, for lunch the other day. I now hold the honour of being the online friend that Brandon knew for the longest time before meeting in person.

When I was taking my pantyhose out of their egg this evening
I thought: I'm going to find that man that is the right shade of bottle tan
A man that smells like cocoa butter and cash

So these are pretty much the best lyrics I've ever heard. Pure Magic. Kylie joined The Scissor Sisters on stage a Glastonbury this year and this video gives me something else to write down on the ol' to-do list. I must master jumping about in thigh-high stiletto boots. It is an important life skill.

Also: considering singing this to Dr Cuddles when he gets home. Unless he reads this on the way home and walks in prepared (and by prepared, I mean ear plugs already in). The Shears are The Shizzle.