Today is my mother’s birthday. I sang happy birthday into her voicemail and secretly prayed nobody would buy her Groupon’s deal of the day (6 weeks of pole dancing) as a gift. She’s 62, knows the Internet better than I do, loves to give out hugs and baked goods, has the legs of a 21 year old, has incredibly wise advice if you ask for it and is always proud of me. So yeah, pretty much the best mother in the world.

5. The back-to-school uniform for college girls: Fake tan, old school athletic shorts, college t-shirt, hair band holding back messy-haired pony-tail. There is zero deviation from this ensemble. What ever happened to dressing to impress?

4. If some one offers you a “Sparks” don’t drink it. It’s a Red Bull-like malt beverage and tastes even less appealing than you’d think.

3. When you are a consultant, half of your time is spent helping other people, for free. This is fine, but choose who you help wisely.

2. OMG tornado warning! It seems odd to me that growing up in Canada I was sheltered from severe weather warnings, but I’ve never been close to a tornado. Dr Cuddles was at the hospital and suggested I go hang out in the serial killer basement (alone) for an undefined period of time. While I appreciate that he just wants to keep me safe, the chances of that happening are about the same as me getting a unicorn for Christmas. Note: my first tornado warning was largely underwhelming.

1. Here is my best social media talk in less than 50 words: To build an online community, you need an exhausted-by-the-end-of-the-day amount of effort along with at least two of the following in large quantities: time, innovation, cash. Preferably, you’ll have all three. If you think there is any type of magic involved, you will fail.