We had a pretty heated debate around the dinner table the other evening, all centered around this question:

At what point is it acceptable to tell a stranger that their bad manners are disruptive?

I am THE WORST for judging people on their table manners. I notice everything and I think less and less of you the more you offend me. I honestly believe that there are reasons behind everything considered to be good manners (for example: if you place your cutlery together at the end of a meal, people will know that you are finished eating and they can clear your plate. It also make it easier to clear multiple dishes at once without cutlery flying all over).

Since I take manners so seriously, you'd think I'd be up for telling others when they are being disruptive. However, I believe a part of having really great manners is not making other people feel bad about their lack of the same. Maybe it's a cultural difference, maybe it is a lack of education - to be honest, I can't pretend to know why someone lacks manners. Whatever the reason is, it really isn't my place to point it out to them.

After talking about this, it got me thinking about the parallels between coffee shop behaviour and Internet behaviour. Do you go around in real life telling people how to behave? If not, why do you insist on doing it online? There isn't a day that goes by that I don't read something from some mildly-Internet-famous marketing person (usually in the middle of a book tour), pointing out what not to do and what you've done wrong. Why does it matter? Isn't the Internet just as public a space as the coffee shop? 

We often talk about not posting anything personal that you wouldn't yell aloud or tell your mother. That same rule applies for finger pointing. If you wouldn't go up to a stranger in person and tell them something, don't do it on the Internet. It doesn't matter if what they are doing is "wrong" in your opinion, if you tell them, you are the one being rude. Instead, just be the best example of how to do things correctly. 

I think the biggest difference between someone that does a good job and someone that does an excellent job is how they handle the bad times. On the Internet, it’s only a matter of time before you have to deal with really negative stuff. Whether it’s real, perceived or total baloney, it has to be managed and the art of managing it is what separates the men from the boys. Here are a couple of tips I’ve learned from being a community manager:

5. Pleasing Unhappy Members – People join communities for a reason. If they are unhappy, it’s because that reason is not being met. Find out why they joined and why they are currently unhappy. Were they expecting more handholding? Are they confused by what to do? Do they feel overwhelmed by options or underwhelmed by activity? It isn’t your job to bend to every wish members have. However, if you find out what those wishes are, you can either explain to them how to achieve it, or better explain why the community isn’t able to help them at that point in time.

4. Giving Great Customer Service – People join communities to interact, learn and feel empowered. With every new member and with everything you do, if you keep this in mind, you’d be hard pressed to do a better job. Talk to everyone, teach them something new, give them ideas on how they share their knowledge with others and connect members with each other. It is as simple as that, but it is hard work. That’s why someone is paying you to do it!

3. Banishing Trolls – My mother has taught me the most useful things I know. One of my favourite mom expressions is, “He’s not crying, he’s just expressing himself.” True enough, when you encounter a troll, they are usually just trying to be heard. So listen. Send them a personal message asking them how they are doing, what they’d like to get out of the community and how you can help. Often times, people are excited about participating, but are confused as to what is appropriate. Sometimes, people are upset about feeling slighted. You can help fix this. I’ve found that trolls often turn out to be your biggest fan if you give them a chance. Make that your goal and see how far you get.

2. Entertaining during Downtime – There’s not much you can do when your site goes down, but you can communicate what the problem is, how long you expect it to be before it’s fixed and suggest things for people to do in the meantime. Be honest, update your community often and don’t lose your sense of humour. After the situation is resolved, be sure to follow up and explain what measures you’re taking so it doesn’t happen again.

1. Dealing with Bad Press – I’m pretty sure this is why smart phones were really invented. Time is of the essence. The faster you can speak to the author, the better. If the information is false, do not give up until you get the author to retract or correct the article. If it is online, insist corrections or retractions go in the same article, even if the author is planning on posting something else. If the information written is true, ask the author to post an interview from your point of view. In addition, post something to every social media network you use and plan on explaining the situation in a clear, concise (and honest) manner. If it will be an ongoing situation, explain that you will update the blog as often as possible. People want reassurance that you are aware of what is going on. Give it to them.

Is it always bad? No, but when it is, it’s usually pretty bad. It can feel like you go for days saying the same things over and over again. Stay the course and keep repeating your message. Responding to everyone that says something nice about you is great, but responding to everyone that says something horrible about you is imperative.

Alternate title: Winning at Social Media by putting the effort in. I wanted to mention Greg Hounslow's West Jet efforts to do some blogger outreach before West Jet's website launch (it's easier to use, btw, check it out). Here's what I thought West Jet got right when they invited in bloggers to preview the launch:

5. Greg invited a small group  of people. This wasn't a big media event, it felt like a small group of friends. We spent the whole morning at West Jet and by the end, I felt like I'd made a few new online buddies. I know I'm not actually a big deal, but it certainly is nice to feel special. Don't discount that when you are considering how to get some Internet kids on your side.

4. The whole event wasn't a pitch. Of course, there was a pitch, since that's why we were there, but Greg also made sure there was something in it for us. I've always wanted to check out the West Jet campus and we got a full tour. It's good to think about what you can offer people in return for them sitting through your canned, "Look how great we are" pitch. Only downside to this: I wish I could work in a building like that :(

3. West Jetters love West Jet. I've never seen a group of people so excited about the company they work for. The enthusiasm is sincere and it makes writing about the company less arduous. 

2. Greg made it easy for us to write about the website launch. He gave us USB sticks with images for us to use. He also gave us a one-pager with info about the company we could pull from (all written in third person, you'd be surprised how many people write "we" and "our" which makes it annoying for bloggers to cut/paste...WE ARE A LAZY PEOPLE).

1. We got treated like we were part of the team. There's wasn't any fancy show, West Jet was really looking for feedback on what they are doing. We got a inside look at where they plan to go next and an invitation to come back with suggestions. 

Greg also thanked us for our time both in person and over the Internet. A little thanks goes a long way. 

I was listening to Edward Boches moderate a panel on crowdsourcing yesterday morning and had a moment where I realized it really isn't just buzzwords and marketing speak. How we work really IS changing and it's actually ridiculously exciting. For me, there's three things coming into play here that directly impact the way I work, and what I think about when I consider my career.

3. Yeah, the Internet is fun, but it also means that people can actually work from ANYWHERE now. Telecommuting doesn't really begin to describe what people do now. You can do anything form anywhere and probably do it all for free. The ability to host your information anywhere, communicate around the world (by video, if you want) for free and collaboration tools that work better than a whiteboard, it truly doesn't matter where you are. This is important for two reasons. One, companies can hire the best person for the job, even if that person is far away. Two, employees are free to travel, or move to a better location for their lifestyle, while still getting their work done.

2. Crowdsourcing is here to stay, get used to it. This morning, every panelist said something to this effect, but Mark Walsh captured the sentiment succinctly,"Those who ignore where crowdsourcing is taking the relationship between a brand and its customers are looking for trouble. Customers today are so drenched in interactivity and transparency, you have to respond to that, it is no longer an option. It doesn’t mean that crowdsourcing is the enemy of ad agencies. We all want to play nice together. We’re just a new tactic in a toolbox that is coming along like a freight train." Of course, we were talking about advertising, but involving a crowd, whether it is the general public, your employees, or a curated number of experts is now expected. I'd talk about this more, but I talk about this all day. Read my work blog :)

I'd say everything I do is about building a community, whether it is around a product, on a website, or in my city. I really see the value in meeting others and figuring out how I can help them. Getting that going and seeing how it affects people's lives is definitely one of the best feelings I know of. 

The community environment is where one starts to see extreme periods of growth. Sharing a wealth of knowledge leads to rapid innovation, sharing the workload leads to individuals being able to take on more - history tells us this is a good thing, we are all not our own islands.

Unfortunately, it would appear that everyone wants something for nothing...and I can't bankroll that attitude :(

Dear Team,

If all of the world is a stage, community managers are not the stars of the show. They're the ones behind stage, making sure everything is running smoothly. WIth everyone and their twittering plant being a social media expert these days, I'm coming up with my own parameters to decide who I think is amazing. Some new universal truths I've noticed (you know, like how all girls like candles and Dirty Dancing):

Great community managers don't ask you to buy their book

Great community managers get media attention for interesting community members, not for themselves

Great community managers ask how they can help - and actually mean it

Great community managers know metrics, but couldn't tell you how many people follow them on twitter

Great community managers make you feel as though you've got a friend

I'm going to keep these in mind and hopefully, they'll help me better at what I love to do :)

Huggles,

Blue