I read Shael Holtz's blog post (and am reading the series) on hospitals and social media with interest. I really appreciated how he didn't champion social media, but rather, he clearly laid out the facts. The entire idea has left me with a million questions, and I would love to know if others feel the same way.

To start, what is the goal of getting hospitals to be more engaged online? Are we trying to make them more approachable? Are we hoping they help educate the public when doctors make decisions we don't fully understand? Is it purely for customer service and image?

When I think of social media, I think that it is a place where I can communicate directly with organizations and have my voice heard. A place where I can affect change. Should social media be able to change the way doctors and hospitals make decisions?

Doctors have four years of college, four years of medical school, seven years of residency (ok, the one I live with does, I don't know how long others do) and often go on to do a one or two year fellowship after that. I have one year of high school biology. Even though I consider myself a smart person, I am not in a position to know better about any medical situation.

Doctors have years of training to expose themselves to every medical situation, every option and every possible outcome. They weigh each option based on a laundry list of variables and the percent chance of a favorable outcome. They need to do all of this, without getting emotionally involved. Social media thrives on just that, emotion.

In the examples Shael gives, both seem to come down to two things: fear and money. Fear makes everyone do irrational things, I think that's clear. Money, however, seems to be a confusing topic when it comes to medicine.

Are hospitals to pay for every case that tugs at the heart strings of the Internet? Where does funding for this come from? Do people think hospitals have unlimited resources? What will then outcome be for the patient? Will their quality of life be such that they need expensive medical equipment to keep them alive? Full time care? Who will pay for that? Does that come from the hospital as well?

If hospitals went online to discuss some of these things, to teach us more about why and how decisions are made, I would be fascinated. However, if we encourage hospitals to go online solely for the purpose of pressuring them into making poor decisions based on emotion, I'll question my entire career choice.

We had a pretty heated debate around the dinner table the other evening, all centered around this question:

At what point is it acceptable to tell a stranger that their bad manners are disruptive?

I am THE WORST for judging people on their table manners. I notice everything and I think less and less of you the more you offend me. I honestly believe that there are reasons behind everything considered to be good manners (for example: if you place your cutlery together at the end of a meal, people will know that you are finished eating and they can clear your plate. It also make it easier to clear multiple dishes at once without cutlery flying all over).

Since I take manners so seriously, you'd think I'd be up for telling others when they are being disruptive. However, I believe a part of having really great manners is not making other people feel bad about their lack of the same. Maybe it's a cultural difference, maybe it is a lack of education - to be honest, I can't pretend to know why someone lacks manners. Whatever the reason is, it really isn't my place to point it out to them.

After talking about this, it got me thinking about the parallels between coffee shop behaviour and Internet behaviour. Do you go around in real life telling people how to behave? If not, why do you insist on doing it online? There isn't a day that goes by that I don't read something from some mildly-Internet-famous marketing person (usually in the middle of a book tour), pointing out what not to do and what you've done wrong. Why does it matter? Isn't the Internet just as public a space as the coffee shop? 

We often talk about not posting anything personal that you wouldn't yell aloud or tell your mother. That same rule applies for finger pointing. If you wouldn't go up to a stranger in person and tell them something, don't do it on the Internet. It doesn't matter if what they are doing is "wrong" in your opinion, if you tell them, you are the one being rude. Instead, just be the best example of how to do things correctly. 

I think the biggest difference between someone that does a good job and someone that does an excellent job is how they handle the bad times. On the Internet, it’s only a matter of time before you have to deal with really negative stuff. Whether it’s real, perceived or total baloney, it has to be managed and the art of managing it is what separates the men from the boys. Here are a couple of tips I’ve learned from being a community manager:

5. Pleasing Unhappy Members – People join communities for a reason. If they are unhappy, it’s because that reason is not being met. Find out why they joined and why they are currently unhappy. Were they expecting more handholding? Are they confused by what to do? Do they feel overwhelmed by options or underwhelmed by activity? It isn’t your job to bend to every wish members have. However, if you find out what those wishes are, you can either explain to them how to achieve it, or better explain why the community isn’t able to help them at that point in time.

4. Giving Great Customer Service – People join communities to interact, learn and feel empowered. With every new member and with everything you do, if you keep this in mind, you’d be hard pressed to do a better job. Talk to everyone, teach them something new, give them ideas on how they share their knowledge with others and connect members with each other. It is as simple as that, but it is hard work. That’s why someone is paying you to do it!

3. Banishing Trolls – My mother has taught me the most useful things I know. One of my favourite mom expressions is, “He’s not crying, he’s just expressing himself.” True enough, when you encounter a troll, they are usually just trying to be heard. So listen. Send them a personal message asking them how they are doing, what they’d like to get out of the community and how you can help. Often times, people are excited about participating, but are confused as to what is appropriate. Sometimes, people are upset about feeling slighted. You can help fix this. I’ve found that trolls often turn out to be your biggest fan if you give them a chance. Make that your goal and see how far you get.

2. Entertaining during Downtime – There’s not much you can do when your site goes down, but you can communicate what the problem is, how long you expect it to be before it’s fixed and suggest things for people to do in the meantime. Be honest, update your community often and don’t lose your sense of humour. After the situation is resolved, be sure to follow up and explain what measures you’re taking so it doesn’t happen again.

1. Dealing with Bad Press – I’m pretty sure this is why smart phones were really invented. Time is of the essence. The faster you can speak to the author, the better. If the information is false, do not give up until you get the author to retract or correct the article. If it is online, insist corrections or retractions go in the same article, even if the author is planning on posting something else. If the information written is true, ask the author to post an interview from your point of view. In addition, post something to every social media network you use and plan on explaining the situation in a clear, concise (and honest) manner. If it will be an ongoing situation, explain that you will update the blog as often as possible. People want reassurance that you are aware of what is going on. Give it to them.

Is it always bad? No, but when it is, it’s usually pretty bad. It can feel like you go for days saying the same things over and over again. Stay the course and keep repeating your message. Responding to everyone that says something nice about you is great, but responding to everyone that says something horrible about you is imperative.

The smartest man in the world, Saul Colt, posted something on his blog this morning that got me thinking about formulas for social media success. Is a community around local events going to want the same information, at the same frequency as a community around a brand? Do followers of an account designed to tweet out news stories want to see replies mixed in? Does everyone on the planet consume media in the same way? …or want to, for that matter… I don’t know everything, but I’m betting the answer to all of these questions is no.

Keeping in mind there isn’t a single correct way of doing things, how do we figure out the right way of doing things individually?

5. Think about the goal. This is important for both brands and individuals. What is the goal of your social media accounts? Is it to sell your product, bring people to your website, or create warm feelings about your brand? For your personal account, is it to keep track of your friends and family, to try and get more work or to build up your belief that you are the funniest human alive? These are all good reasons, but you need to have a goal clearly defined before you start and keep it in mind with everything you do.

4. Think about the people you are trying to attract. How do they use social media? The easiest way to attract them is to emulate their behaviour. The Internet is very much in love with itself. Use the same tools in the same way as your target market and you’ll find it easier to attract your ideal customer/friend/fan.

3. Think about the time you have to invest. Do you want to be putting in an hour per week on social media or eight hours per day? How much time you are willing to put in will dramatically change how you will be interacting with everyone and every tool.

2. Think about the resources you have. Million dollar campaigns look very different from ten dollar campaigns, but that doesn’t mean that one is better than the other (unless you get a fancy car out of one of them). Don’t overestimate what you are able to accomplish, as it will leave people with a sour taste in their mouths.

1. Think about the effort it will take to make your vision a success. This one goes hand-in-hand with the previous two. You’ll need either time or money (preferably both) for your social media successes, but there is no getting around working really hard. If you’re putting in the effort, what you are doing will pay off sooner or later (the age of participation, blue ribbons for everyone!).

If you mix all of these together, you’ll be able to figure out a plan that is exactly right for you. I guarantee it will look different than what I should do. That’s cool. If everyone did everything the same, it would be really, really boring (and a little weird). You’ll notice that all top 5 reasons start with the word think. That’s no accident. Thinking before typing is the most important way to make sure everything you are doing on the Internet is exactly right.

Bottom line: For every employer that says they’d never hire anyone who posts party photos on Facebook, there’s another employer that recognizes they’d never find anyone to hire if they made that claim. As long as you are being true to yourself and your brand, what you are doing is right on the money.

Nobody likes a grumpy pants, so here are what I love most about reading updates from other people. These little gems can come from the most unexpected of places and that’s what I enjoy most about reading Twitter at odd hours, or clicking links in blog post I’ve already finished reading. Here are the updates that make suffering through all of the bad ones worth it:

5. The wisdom. Here’s the winning formula for this: Adjective, noun, description of noun, link. For example: Smart blog post on penning updates:  http://post.ly/14Jr2

4. The share. I appreciate this mostly for music, but this extends to sharing whatever-it-is-you’re-really-into. The Internet was built for the rapid exchange of information and this is why people still use it. If you love food, instead of saying what you ate for dinner, link to the recipe, tell us how difficult it was to make, what you’d do next time and if it was worth it.

3. The rapier wit. No matter how you slice it, social media is a form of entertainment ( a time waster, some might say…). Therefore, I encourage you to be entertaining. Dazzle me with you wit, regale me with humorous stories and impress me with intellect.

3. The sharp-shooter. Hey, if you can’t figure out what I like by reading my blog/Tweets/Facebook account for five seconds, I don’t think you should be in sales. However, if you do figure out what I like and tell me about something I am for-real interested in, I won’t recoil in horror. In fact, I’ll probably read it/buy it/love it.  

1. The tipsy tweet. I don’t think you can really know someone by their online persona. Most are carefully crafted. While I can’t recommend having too many drinks and then hopping online (Au secours! Au secours!), the “I’m having fun at this fun event, you should get over here” tweet has always been my favorite. 

I’m not saying I know more than you do, I’m just saying I have to sift through a large amount of crap on the Internet. Here are the top 5 updates I’d prefer not to have to read again:

5. The threat of inbox zero.  Whether it’s bragging you’ve managed it, or complain-bragging about how busy you are and how so many people email you every day, the Internet doesn’t care. To be honest, I assume someone is paying you with the understanding that you are competent enough to manage your inbox, so I’ve never understood why inbox zero was something to talk about. Isn’t that something for your performance review?

4. The scatter-gun sell. I hate this. On most social networks, you have to choose to follow someone. This means, I’ve chosen to follow the person that thought this was a good idea. This makes me feel conflicted on the inside, because it means I choose to follow people with no idea how the Internet works. Why would I do that? Do I not know how the Internet works? Am I not as smart as I think I am? It’s a downward spiral that starts with a tweet about acai berry juice and ends with me on the bathroom floor having an existential crisis. Please, save me an evening of regret-filled angst.

3. The complaint about bad service.  When people write out, “You’ll never get my business again” I read, “Don’t you people know how important I am?” Truth is, you’re probably no more important than the rest of us and I doubt the $2 you spend on a coffee there once a month will have much impact. If you really have a problem with the place, why not voice your concerns in private, with the owner? Basically, aim for a solution to the problem instead of doing something that makes you look like a pompous ass *and* has zero impact.

2. The salute to all the fierce women in your life. Yes, it’s probably true you have great friends. They are probably amazing as otherwise, you probably wouldn’t be friends with them. Instead of just saying you are thankful for all the “amazing, independent, smart, fabulous” women in your life, why not share what makes them awesome? Again, brag with purpose. Let everyone else know what makes your friends great and your social updates will become that much more valuable.

1. The faux-humble, self-congratulatory update. If you are proud of yourself for doing something awesome, I’ll have more respect for you if you say, “Hey, I’m really proud of myself for doing something awesome.” The whole golly-gee, fishing for a compliment really doesn’t work.

Next up: The top 5 social updates I love seeing!

Sometimes, work can get you down. While you’re out there, struggling to provide meaningful moments between the company that pays you and the people who are their customers, someone else is trumpeting they can do twice as good of a job for half the money. You know it, I know it. This person is really great at selling themselves and little else. How do you make sure people know the difference?

5. Take what you know and explain it in the context of what other people know. People learn new stuff by relating it to stuff-they-get-already. What other reason is there for cell phones to use a little icon of a cassette tape for voicemail? Also, who doesn’t love a good analogy?

4. Don’t be tempted by the dark side. You understand the way social media works. You know your employers do not. You know that if you follow 1000 random people while drinking a bottle of Malbec one evening, your boss will be impressed by the number of new followers you have next week. Please resist the urge. Keep making meaningful connections. Those connections appreciate it.

3. Be a champion. If you see someone doing really great work, point it out. If you are trying to get a new contract or job, don’t put down others that are also applying. Celebrate success, it’s good for everyone.

2. Don’t forget that it isn’t just your Internet friends paying attention to what you do. You are a leader in a relatively new field. People are interested in this industry and want to figure it out. Sooner or later, they will know the difference between doing a good job and doing a bad job, but right now, they can only go on what they see. If they see you being snarky, rude or unprofessional towards others, why would they want to hire you? Trying to prove your point by being a big baby only proves the point that you are a big baby. Fight the good fight. If you think you are better at what you do than others, lead by example and education.

1. Every morning when you wake up, you have to reach for the big boy pants. Proving to the person that signs your paycheck that you are a worthwhile investment is hard, but *necessary.* If you believe your job as a social media expert/community manager/content strategist/group hug giver/whatever you prefer to call it is worth it, you need to be able to show that.

Finally, remember that everybody’s gotta make a living, so instead of assuming others have bad intentions, why not work with them to figure out why they are doing something you don't like?