Where in the world is Sarah Blue? Yeah, usually in airports, if this week is any indication. Phoenix, Chicago, Ottawa, Kingston, Toronto, Calgary, Toronto, Columbus this week. I’m over the Foursquare Jet Setter badge and am wondering if there’s a might-be-homeless-and-just-lives-in-airports badge. Let me know if this already exists. Here’s what’s the haps over the past week (it’s a little airport focused):

5. I am clearly a sucker for punishment. I know United is horrible and yet, I keep flying with them. Seriously, I no longer blame United, I blame me. I should know better.

4. $20 is too much to pay for a crappy burger. Especially when you don’t even eat the bun. Food should never be expensive and disgusting, yet airport food is always both. Airplane food? Fine, I’ll eat whatever, I still think it’s a miracle we’ve figured out how to fly, let alone being able to serve hot food up there. I do not feel this way about airports. There’s a huge opportunity there for delicious food. Someone needs to make this happen. The tired and hungry masses will thank you.

3. The only language I type in is Internet speak.

2. I worry that I shove so much into my carry-on suitcase that one day I will be rolling it through the airport and it will pop open like a jack-in-the-box. I have visions of my undergarments all over the airport. I always chuckle a little when I get the “can we look through your suitcase” at security. It’s a skill-test. If you cannot zip this suitcase back up, you are not smart enough to be working security.

1. Italian family weddings are good for the self-esteem. Everyone is happy, everyone tells you how pretty you are and everyone wants to feed you. Does life get any better? No. The second part of this is that there is nothing more important than family. Now, I might be lucky because I come from a really big family with people doing all kinds of amazing things. However, if you don’t think family is important, I really think you’re doing it wrong.

Well, this wraps up my tour de Phoenix (that's French for tour of Phoenix). I'm off bright and early tomorrow to go to my cousins wedding! I'm the co-emcee with my brother. I hope there's plenty of opportunity for stories, because I've been banking adorable stories on her for years. Anyway, this week

5. I really looking forward to cooking at home again. Living in a tiny hotel room for a month wasn’t bad, but limiting as far as cooking food is concerned. Million dollar idea: A restaurant that works more like my mom’s kitchen. So you could go in and just be like, “Hey, I really just feel like a bowl of cereal for dinner tonight.” Do these exist? I’d be all over that.

4. Not understanding Fahrenheit means not really knowing what the weather is outside. Really, I have no idea. My new version of knowing the weather is “it’s hot” “it’s really hot” and “it’s hot but a little windy, so not bad” Temperatures are so last year.

3. Every once and a while, we all need to be a little sappy. For me, that’s right now. Ingredients for a perfect day: sleep in, phenomenal espresso, a drive through the beautiful red rocks of Sedona, a splash down some natural (for real!) waterslides at Slide Rock National Park, some shopping in Flagstaff, fish tacos, earl grey truffles and a black jelly bean for dinner. Yep, I’ll remember that one for a while.

2. It is amazing how quickly you can get drunk if you haven’t really been drinking for a while.

1. Phoenix is apparently a test market for the Trenta. That’s 30 ounces of some type of coffee from Starbucks. I’m guessing it needs to be about 8 shots of espresso in one drink. I have one question for Starbucks: Why?

While @louderthan10 seems to disagree with my feelings of Phoenix-is-so-rad, I continue to find this place…rad. I’ve been here before and felt the same way he did. Last time, I spent a considerable amount of time in Scottsdale, this time? I haven’t even been close. I now fully equate Scottsdale with plastic – people, money, lawns…someone let me know if I’m wrong. Anyway, here’s what’s up this week:

5. There are almost no surprises with the weather here in Phoenix. I’ve almost accepted that I don’t need to tote a cardy around with me all the time. I say almost because I still carry a cardy as the grocery stores here are so over-air conditioned, you basically need a parka if you are inside for more than two minutes. Also, I experienced my first dust storm! It was mostly underwhelming, but the change in pressure was so drastic that I was sitting inside and the bottle of water I had on the counter collapsed. Crazy!

4. When the sun goes down, the crickets come out. They are everywhere! I’m confused how people go about their evenings so casually with all of the crickets around (I sit there with my legs sticking straight out so my feet don’t touch the ground). I don’t really know if they are even crickets, I’m not sure what else they could be. The first evening out here, I worried we’d encountered the first sign of the apocalypse. Apparently, I have the bug tolerance of a seven-year-old girl.

3. Americans love cheap food. Seriously, if you tell someone you are new in town, they will tell you all about where you can get incredibly underpriced food every night of the week. If you are a restaurant and aren’t serving up some type of $1 meal one evening a week, you are missing out one heck of a huge word-of-mouth opportunity.

2. Going up Camelback mountain, mid-August, midday is not a good idea for Canadians. I completely underestimated Camelback and took being-a-big-baby to an epic level. Dr Cuddles decided to do pushups every time I stopped to either have a mild freak out about the height (things look easy to fall off of when there’s no trees anywhere) or to complain about the heat. Two lessons learned: If I ever get lost in the desert, I will be vulture-dinner.  When you go up a mountain in the desert, there is no mountain lake to jump in at the top. (1. Dr Cuddles made me crop his nipple out of the photo, which I think is kind of a bummer. 2. This is the only photo where you can't see the fear written all over my face.)

1. If you are homeless in Phoenix and get too hot, consider riding the Metro Light Rail system all day. Everyone else is doing it, usually while drunk. I suppose it is a sad commentary on our times, but I can’t help but laugh at how entertaining the drunk crazies on the train are. They say some pretty awesome stuff.

If you're anything like me, when you think of Phoenix, you think of old people. Fair enough, my parents like visiting here as well. However, I'm here to dispel that myth and tell you that from what I can tell, Phoenix is pretty gosh darn lovely. Full stop. 

5. Phoenix is a hot minx in cougar's clothing. I think the people that live here want everyone else to think it's only old people and plastic blonds to discourage everyone else from also living here (scary Arizona immigration laws aside). Truth is, I haven't seen much of either. Maybe it's the area we are staying, but most people here seem to be well adjusted, young business professionals. 

4. There are so many great little restaurants, coffee shops and lounges here. The supply of coffee shop offices is seemingly endless and all of them come with a unique flavour. Most of these places have outdoor patios, which is great because while Phoenix is hot, IT'S A DRY HEAT so it's totally bearable. If you are used to the frigid temperatures of Canada, most patios here have misters. Great for cooling off, bad for curly hair. It's basically one giant frizz-o-fyer. I recommend a good anti-humectant. 

3. I may need to start dressing like a grown up. 

2. Everyone here is happy. For real. People say hello to each other and generally walk around with smiles on their faces. In discussing this at lunch, Brandon Franklin* said that it's hard to be glum when the sun is shining. I believe it. If you want moody angst, go somewhere it rains all the time. This place is not for you.  Speaking of sun, it's practically impossible to not be athletic here. How can you not want to get out and do stuff when the sky is so blue? it's pretty inspiring. If I start walking around spouting hippy-I-love-the-planet bull, someone slap me. 

1. I am a master of public transportation. Ok, this is a slight exaggeration. Google Latitude is a master of public transportation and I am a master of Google Latitude. However, I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to get all over without too much trouble. Of course, when you don't need to be anywhere at a scheduled time, public transportation is a lot less annoying. Whatever. I'm doing it. I'm getting from one place to another. Very economically. Probably pretty environmentally friendly too. Mother Nature, you're welcome. 

*note: I met Sean Tierney and Brandon Franklin, two old school Cambrian House community members, for lunch the other day. I now hold the honour of being the online friend that Brandon knew for the longest time before meeting in person.

I'm headed back to Calgary in two days! While July has been awesome, I'm really looking forward to hanging out with my friends and spending a little quality time with my mom. Ohio, you've been good to me...and here's what I've noticed over the past week:

5. Hugging. So. Much. Hugging. I am slowly coming to terms with this. Americans like to hug. I’m not a hugger. I like to save my hugs for people I really like. At first, hugging of people I’d just met, or had only interacted with on a few occasions made me quite uncomfortable. My current policy is to just awkwardly ask, “Is this a hugging moment?” because the surprise hug is the worst. That’s how you accidentally end up kissing someone on the lips instead of cheek-to-cheek.

4. I have eaten ribs from a stand. The Jazz and Ribs Festival hits Columbus for one weekend at the end of July. Rib aficionados from all over bring their medals, trophies and sauce mops (they have mini mops that they use for smothering the ribs in sauce while they cook). IT IS A VERY INTERESTING CROWD. Truly, it was a good experience, although I can’t help but wonder how anyone gets into the rib competition circuit. It seems like a tough way to spend your summer. Highlight: the girl in short-shorts that took our order was stumped at having to add the price of 2 of the same meals together. They were whole numbers.

3. Canada is light years ahead on granola bars.

2. America only uses the Imperial system. I can respect that, because my people waver back and forth. Kilometres for distance, inches for height…stop sitting on the fence Canada! I feel it should be noted though that when America dumped all that tea out in the Boston harbor, they should have gone metric. It should also be noted that I can’t figure out how to order deli meat in pounds. It makes no sense.

1. I have entered the creepy subterranean storage space! Yes, it’s true. I’m not a fan of the dark. It’s not the dark so much as the possibility of the paranormal. I’m pretty tough about things until I think a ghost with bad hair is going to crawl out of my television. Anyway, I had to put the bikes in the storage space before going back to Calgary and I figured broad daylight was the best time to do it. I made it out alive, but I can see why people think spaces like that are totally legit to hide dead bodies. No one has been in there for years. Gross!

How many times does the word “hug” appear in this post? Answer correctly and you’ll get a free hug!

Waking up to the wrong song is the morning equivalent to getting rained on after a crummy day at the office. Growing up, I kept my trusty alarm clock tuned into CBC just to avoid the chance of waking up to Celine Dion. My alarm currently goes off at 4:40am. Beeping, buzzing and ringing tones don't improve my mood. In hopes of making waking up in the middle of the night slightly more pleasant, here are my top 5 songs to wake up to:

5. Van Halen - Jump

I get up...and nothing gets me down...

The splits, overhead jazz hands and a hair toss is generally my morning routine, so I really feel I connect with David Lee Roth on this one. 

4. Katrina and the Waves - Walking on Sunshine 

I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh...and don't it feel good!

Positive reinforcement people. You tell yourself it feels good until it does. Works every time.

Check out the vid here. Also: I like her dancing. It is how I dance. I prefer to think of it as an expression of joy...not so much a slave to the beat. 

3. James Brown - Get up offa that thing

Get up offa that thing and dance 'til you feel better.

If the shriek at the beginning doesn't scare you out of bed, the man TELLS YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.

2. Jay-Z vs The Verve - Bittersweet Dirt Off your Shoulder

You gotta get that dirt off your shoulder.

With this as the soundtrack to your morning, your day will be a sweeping slow-motion epic. Go win something. 

1. Dolly Parton

I tumble outta bed and stumble to the kitchen, pour myself a cup of ambition

Dolly, you're a day-maker.

5. Let’s cut to the chase. Three weeks in and I’ve finally made it to a state-run liquor store. Hello, gin. My first trip involved a mild cash-only crisis, but DC stepped in and valiantly offered up a Hamilton to ensure gin-fueled productivity this weekend. He’s a baller, there’s no doubt.

4. Have a mentioned I’m a bit of a loner? My mother worries about me not knowing anyone here. “Are you lonely?” she says when she calls. I almost feel guilty when I tell her I love working by myself all day.

3. I have an uncomfortable obsession with finger toes. Toes that can act like fingers. Mine cant. My second and third toe are stuck together like glue and I have deformed baby toes (I presume because I was born with extra toes). I want my toes to be able to do great things, to achieve great heights. I’m working on a work out regime.  

2. Columbus is the birthplace of the junior bacon cheeseburger.

1. Doctors work long hours. If you thought different, I’m here to set you straight. They start work at 5:30am. Which is mother truckin’ early. However, I’m pretty sure if things get desperate and I need to write a book titled, “How to land your very own Doctor” I’ve got some ideas. They mostly revolve around standing around the hospital at 5:20am with fresh coffee and homemade muffins. Key to the heart ladies, key to the heart.

The rest is as you’d expect. I’ve booked a ridiculous number of flights this week and hope to see you all when I hit your town. Huggles.

Columbus is home to my favorite person in the world. Jeni. You haven’t heard of her before because I’ve just been introduced, but she instantly won my heart. She makes THE MOST DELICIOUS ICE CREAM EVER. Ben & Jerry’s ain’t bad, but to be honest, they’re a little out-of-date. Who eat Rocky Road any more? Jeni’s Ice Cream, a Columbus treat, has the most delectable flavors, all made with love. Take a moment to peruse the flavor list and dare to prove me wrong.

My observations for the week are as follows:

5. American Girls need to work on their sporting event viewing etiquette. It is ok to not be interested in the game. It is not ok to talk loudly about which blond, vapid quasi-celebrity is better when you are sitting right in front of the television. It is not ok to yell like a trucker over a game you clearly don’t understand. It makes you look both rude and stupid. If you can’t look polite and smart, you should at least strive for one, in my opinion.

4. American Squirrels have no fear. I am taking them all to Canada for wilderness training. Those that survive will thank me. I suspect the owls/coyotes of Canada will thank me as well.

3. It only rains angry in Columbus. There are no gentle showers, no sweet summer mists, just sudden, sharp downpours unleashed without notice. I regret leaving windows open and hopefully have learned from this mistake.

2. I have several unwavering loves. These include, but are not limited to: sparkles, unicorns, Kylie, fluorescent, impractical shoes and bad action movies. When meeting new people, it is best to keep all – or at least some – of these loves under wraps. I prefer thinking of this not as lying, but more leaving something for them to discover at a future date. Much like unpeeling the layers of an onion, which is a phrase I’ve never understood because why on earth would you ever want to unpeel an onion?

1. Ohio has an interesting relationship with booze. You can buy beer and wine anywhere. You can only buy hard alcohol from state-run liquor stores. These aren’t open on Sunday. However, you CAN buy weird, bootleg alcohol at the grocery store. Apparently it is 40-proof instead of 80-proof. In theory, this seems good to me. On a hot, summer’s day you could consume twice as many gin & tonics (air conditioning in a glass, you know) without getting shmammered. In practice, weird, bootleg alcohol tastes bad.

This week also included my first weekday lunch date. I am making friends. No big deal. 

I have a new fear. Cicadas. I have an old fear about waking up next to Jon Secada, but that's a different story. This new fear is that I will  wake up to a cicada buzzing in my ear and then something similar to Commander Chekov's fate in Wrath of Khan happens. Gross! Anyway, this all could have been avoided had I not asked what the weird loud buzzing noise outside our apartment was. I've noted this for next time.

I realize that I left Calgary more than a week ago, but a post about the drive down here would have been short. Corn fields, oil derricks, corn fields, fancy windmill farms, corn fields, highlight: possibly a real transformer, corn fields.

We spent a few days with DC's parents, starting with a sky diving adventure. When I say sky diving adventure, I mean everyone else watched DC's mom jump out of a plane. This is the day I first heard the term airgasm. I'm fairly confident it will be the only time I hear the term airgasm.

I totally geeked out at the thought of going to Taliesin, which ended up being way more interesting than I'd hoped, but for different reasons than I expected. Aside from the being-a-complete-dick part, I now completely relate to FLLW. The dude was a visionary, but lacked some serious attention-to-details skills. He also seemed to love the outdoors, nature and how beautiful everything nature has to offer is, but was really into getting paid. I dig that, too.

Arriving in Columbus, I realize there are a lot of similarities to Calgary. I was trading in one medium-sized city for another with more heat. One can't complain. Here's my Top 5 list on what Columbus has given me in the first week of being a resident:

5. The girls of Columbus love the maxi-dress. I mean, I know it's a thing right now, but I doubt many girls own anything other than the maxi dress. I do not own a maxi-dress. Mostly because it reminds me of the word maxi-pad and I don't want any part of a wardrobe choice that correlates the two. No ma'am.

4. Canada must hate Mexico. This is the only explanation I have for there being a complete absence of burritos in my hometown. They are so delicious, why do Calgarians go without? Racism. That's why. Well let it be known that I would like to change that and as long as my Mexican friends are extending their arms full of burritos, I welcome them.

3. No man should go without an air conditioner. 

2. Drive-thru beer stores are brilliant. I don't know who thought of this, since you aren't supposed to consume beer while driving, but when you are late for your friend's weekend bbq and forgot you still need to pick up a quick six, America has a solution! Just drive up, order what you want and they will even ask if you want it up front with you. MAGIC!

1. In Canada, we celebrate Canada day with bbq, fireworks and Blue Rodeo. In America, they celebrate Independence day with bbq, fireworks and men crushing beers on the sidewalk in star-spangled sleeveless polo shirts. 

I always, always, always forget to take photos, but I'm trying to remember. I would really like to become a better photographer, which is pretty hard to do if you never pull out your camera. I thought of 5 things I'd like to try to encourage myself to take more photos. I don't know if any will help my skillz, but I'm all about trying.

5. Walk and shoot. Walk an entire block and practice shooting the whole time. I'd like to see if I can improve the number of photos that actually turn out as I go.

4. Self-portraits? Not entirely sold on this. A lot of people do it, but it seems like too many photos of...me? Too bad I don't have a puppy.

3. Every time I think "that's pretty" take out the camera and take a photo of it. unCommon sense really. 

2. Schedule some snapping time. Each week, set aside time to dedicate to snapping photos. Outside, inside, morning, night. I'm planning on mixing it up.

1. Have a color of the week set. Every week, pick a color. Every time I see that color, take a photo. Take as many as possible for the entire week. 

If you have any other suggestions, please share!